The engagement.
I've mentioned before about the inexpensive wedding band set I bought at Golbro's in Irondale when I was 19 years old. It was all I could afford. I was making $7.00/hr at a small engineering company scrubbing drawings until I could learn the trade. Scrubbing, for those that never had the privilege of working in a drafting department... with actual pencil drawings, is a term used to describe correcting the original drawings from the checked drawings. Someone draws them, someone then checks them, then they go back to the original designer to back-check the checked drawings. Then it went to me to fix the redlined marks on the original. So yeah, all that to say I was getting paid for what I knew how to do and not a penny more. Luckily, that didn't last long and I moved up pretty quickly to a detailer, then designer. Anyway, it wasn't minimum wage, but it wasn't hitting the jackpot either. So that wedding band set was all I could afford. The time had come to propose.
Nowadays, a proposal is a big ordeal, a production of sorts, almost as bad or worse as asking someone to the prom. A huge grand gesture, but in my day, it was not that way. It was between the 2 people getting engaged. The boy would ask the father of the girl for her hand in marriage, and assuming you got a yes from him, then you would plan the simple proposal. Maybe after an expensive dinner, or around a small group of family or friends... bam! There's the ring! Not me... oh no. I would not fall in line with the same ole same ole. I go to pick her up one evening to go to church for a revival, in the big red 1986 Dodge Ram truck. She seems upset and not sure why. It was an argument or something that happened. I was going to wait for a better time but then I thought that maybe a ring would cheer her up. So, as I'm pulling out of her driveway, in my best, most romantic way possible, I said, "hey, open the glovebox." That's where the box was.
That's it. No getting on one knee. The truck was a 4 on the floor. I couldn't reach over and get it myself. I was driving and changing gears! No "Kristi Joy Hudson, will you marry me?" It was the worst possible engagement I could have ever done. And she still said yes, even though I never officially asked. I'm the luckiest man alive to have done that and still got her to marry me.
Fast forward 15 years later (I think)... I finally had enough of looking at her engagement ring with a speck of a diamond on top, no shine, no sparkle, and decided to splurge and really do it right this time. So I got her a $-real-$ engagement ring and waited for the right time, around her family and as she was sitting at the table, I walked up behind her, got on one knee and got her attention. I said, "Kristi Joy Hudson Hallmark, if you had the opportunity for a do-over, would you marry me again?" She loudly said yes, as she was looking down at the new ring and I took off the old one and put on the new one.
I have always loved seeing her smile. It would make a bad day turn good. It would erase depression and fear from my mind. She smiled bigger than I had ever seen on that day. It was beautiful. I finally did it right.
Men, most of you will get a chance to right a wrong. Do it. Do it before it's too late. Leave no regrets. Love your wife today as if you will lose her tomorrow and thank God when you wake up and she's still there the next day. What I would give to see her, hear her, and hold her one more time. I have found one of her zip-up hoodies in the closet that still has her smell on it. I go to it often just to get a sense that she's still in the room with me. Again men, love her well and leave nothing unfinished or half-hearted. You only get one love of a lifetime.
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