The year of necessity.
The following could be considered embarrassing by most people, and hard to believe I would admit it publicly. But I say that the person that never fails or makes mistakes isn't really learning anything new or even trying.
For 23 of our 31 years together, basically from the day we were married, Kristi and I lived paycheck to paycheck and struggled. When we did fight or have arguments, it was usually about money. I won't go into the specifics but the high interest loan servicers and I were on a first name basis for years. It was just dumb decisions and living beyond our means. I'm sure we were the only ones to ever do that. (Wink wink, nudge nudge). About 8 years ago, it all came to a head and I was really scared for my own health. The weight of debt and aging quicker than I wanted was overwhelming and I was afraid of a heart attack or a stroke at the very least. As a result "the year of necessity" was born.
I made a plan to get out of debt and it involved an entire year of only buying what was necessary and paying off the smallest to the largest debt, one at a time with every dime that was left. Now I had to sell it to Kristi and then to the kids. Kristi's response: "I trust you completely." Why did this shock me? She always trusted me, even when I made stupid choices. She had no reason to trust me with this plan. But she did. And we started it on Jan 1, 2015. Throughout the year we would see something that we wanted and the other would say "it's the year of necessity" and the "want" ended right then, and at times some very ugly looks were given and received. But we were a team ready to beat the stay-in-debt system to a pulp. It was hard and we gave in a few times and it was stressful. It was not without arguments over what was a necessity and what wasn't. But we made it thru it. It ran over the year by 2 additional months but in the end, we had paid off over $40k in debt, owed nothing on credit cards, only had a house payment, a HELOC (never, ever do this!!!) and one car payment and utilities. Credit scores went up 150 pts each and we were finally able to save money, contribute to retirement programs, and prepare to grow old together. Just over one year after completing this incredible journey of not being a slave to debt, we became a slave to cancer.
Doing what we did 2 years prior prepared us financially for what cancer was going to do to us in the future. I initiated the year of necessity to save my own over-stressed life, but in actuality, it was so that we could fight cancer the best we could for the last 5 years. I believe God planted that seed for our debt relief. I believe He had Kristi working at Ram Tool where the cancer insurance was incredibly good, expensive on premiums, but still very good on the out of pocket expenses. I believe He had us sell the home in Pinson with stairs everywhere to be able to get her to a home where we could maintain life on a single level of the home, regardless of her health condition. I know He has had His hand in all of this and yet I still get so angry with Him when I see her suffer and whither away as a result of this disease from Hell. I struggle with that a great deal. I really try to look at the big picture but the close-ups are too overwhelming. For right now, please pray for her an easier transition to glory. But after that occurs, please pray for me to be able to trust God's plan again the way I have for most of my life. And for my children, pray they remember the year of necessity so they don't have to go thru that again on their own later in life.
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