I miss this smile and those happy eyes so much. She was so undeserving of the suffering she went thru, and I would get in close, face to face and tell her that repeatedly during the last 3 weeks of her life. There has to be clarity coming soon about all of this. If God's design was to make me so analytical, then He should know I cannot wait until my own death to find out why she had to suffer so much. I need answers! He gave her to me to love, honor, cherish, and protect. I have to know why the rules changed. Please no responses or cliches. I'm venting and just need to get it out. Nights are horrible.
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