Hate and Love

I hate that cancer took you away from me.

I hate that the cancer kept coming back.

I hate how it made you feel.

I hate that your doctors had really no clue.

I hate how all of this changed us.

I hate that God did not spare you from this.

I hate that people don't get why I hate now.

I hate the loneliness.

I hate the despair.

I hate the nights and weekends.

I hate the looks and comments I get from those that don't understand.

I hate the quiet moments.

I hate walking alone.

I hate not being able to hold your hand.

I hate not hearing your voice.

I hate king sized beds now.

I hate cancer.

I hate going home after leaving your grave.

I hate that you had to suffer so much.

I hate not knowing why some prayers are answered while others seem to be ignored.

I hate the helpless feeling I had while caring for you.

I hate seeing your empty clothes in our closet.

I hate not being able to tell you this face to face.

I hate living life without you because...

I love you.

I love how you fought for me.

I love how you took care of me.

I love how you loved me.

I love the kids you gave me.

I love the life we built together.

I love the times we spent together.

I love the conversations we had.

I love how you loved your family.

I love the way you laughed.

I love your sense of humor.

I love the crazy things you did that no one else would even think of.

I love how you still wanted to date me.

I love that you never got tired of me.

I love that you were content with me.

I love that you fought cancer with all you had for us.

I love that you left me a couple of notes to help me move forward.

I love that you cared.

I love that you were loved by so many.

I love how you put everything you had into raising our children.

I love the memories of 33 years together.

I love you.

I just love you.

Kristi, the reason for my hate is because of my love. Maybe things will change, but right now, I can't help it.