I'm out here at the Riverside walking track across from the police station and I got here at 6:30 this morning. A precious friend of mine sent me a funny video last night sort of, in a roundabout way, about the difference between an early riser and late sleeper. I'm not really a late sleeper, I just wake up early and then stay in bed and sulk about my situation for a couple of hours before really starting my day. What a waste that is! Those 2 hours of sulking don't help my next hours be any better and they don't add value to anyone in my circle.
So, I got here and went to my worship Playlist and started it. I've had nothing but a smile on my face the whole time, thru the walking, a little jogging, the already 71 deg heat, and the beautiful sunrise causing said heat. I'm going with Abby to church this morning too, even though I'm already kind of having it here right now.
Kristi had things, specific things, that she wanted for me that she told me on several occassions before she passed. I tried to ignored her then, or change the subject many times, because I didn't want to accept what was actually about to happen in our very near future. But I remembered. Everything. Every word. And for months I have still ignored many of her wishes.
"Scott... Be happy. Find happiness again."
"What a ride! I love you. Mourners suck!"
"Be angry for a little while if you need to, but then don't be. Find your first love again." (People of faith know what that means.)
"Don't worry about me. I'm going to be where I've lived my whole life to be."
There were other things she told me that I won't get into now but the point was she wanted the best for me, even if she couldn't be the one anymore to make sure I had it. Selfless love. Genuine love. She was so very sick, but cancer never attacked her soul. It was always well with her soul.
https://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI
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